I know, it sounds like a no brainer, right? Nobody really thinks that they would ever ask themselves that question….but then it just creeps right up on you.
Here is my situation:
I live in Hawaii, I’m planning on moving in a year. The only thing that would keep me here is a truly (and I mean truly) phenomenal job OR if I’m in a relationship that I didn’t want to leave. I’ve recently signed up for Match.com and been answering a number of dating ads. Now part of me feels like I’m setting myself up for disappointment in the end because let’s say I do get into a relationship that I like. Is a year enough time to determine if I should stay here for him or is that just not enough time. Am I better off waiting until I move to California and then attempting to date there?
So here are the prospective dates:
The first guy has been totally sweet in our online conversations together. We have a lot in common and have very similar interests. We’re compatible on so many levels. We’re trying to plan to meet this weekend.
There’s another guy that is significantly older than me, but shares my ideals and future plans. But he’s nearly 15 years older than I am.
Then there’s the guy who wants no sort of relationship whatsoever. He just wants….let’s say a physical sort of relationship (you know what I mean). Am I better off with him in the interim while I develop my plans to move? Or should I pursue something greater in hopes that in a year either I’ll want to stay or he’ll want to come with me?
Decisions decisions. Who should be the winner in this contest? Or should I even try at all? Guy number 1 would be my first choice, but I don’t know if I even want to risk the future drama if I decide to leave anyway and he doesn’t’ want to come with me.
Opinions please!!!!
Something you could do to try short-circuiting any drama would be totally up front about your concerns, misgivings, plans, and hopes. Tell him straight-out that you're looking at a major relocation in about a year. See what he says. Don't put it on the table that you might stay "if he's important enough" or anything like that. It'll turn into a "who loves more than whom" power struggle over who has to move/stay for the other.
ReplyDeleteWhereabouts in Cali are you looking to relocate to?
~Cam
Yeah, you can't really do that in the gay community. The very thought of a future or any sort of commitment makes the gays...shall we say... fleet a foot? If such a "sharing" occasion should occur, I also have another blog... a private one where I put all my hopes and dreams in writing. If I should feel so inclined to share it with someone that I have deemed worthy of such information...then by all means I'll share it.
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